First,
you must determine that your anger is a problem or else you cannot do
anything to solve it. Ask yourself how frequently you get angry, and
whether you overreact, or whether your anger is in proportion with the
situation at hand. Do you find yourself pouting or holding grudges? Does
your anger scare others or yourself and does it have a negative impact
on your lifestyle. Do you feel yourself beginning to lose it and then do
you feel as though there is no control to it?
If
you answered yes to any of the above, then you certainly have problems
with anger and you must understand that there are terrible consequences
to this kind of anger. You might destroy many important relationships in
your life, you might create a dangerous or hostile living environment,
you will not be as productive at home or work, you might endure health
problems and excess stress, you might get into trouble with the law, and
you might even be tempted to engage in some violent behaviors.
First,
you must determine that your anger is a problem or else you cannot do
anything to solve it. Ask yourself how frequently you get angry, and
whether you overreact, or whether your anger is in proportion with the
situation at hand. Do you find yourself pouting or holding grudges? Does
your anger scare others or yourself and does it have a negative impact
on your lifestyle. Do you feel yourself beginning to lose it and then do
you feel as though there is no control to it?
If
you answered yes to any of the above, then you certainly have problems
with anger and you must understand that there are terrible consequences
to this kind of anger. You might destroy many important relationships in
your life, you might create a dangerous or hostile living environment,
you will not be as productive at home or work, you might endure health
problems and excess stress, you might get into trouble with the law, and
you might even be tempted to engage in some violent behaviors.
Everyone
gets angry, that is a fact of life. But some people do not have as good
control over it as others. You have to understand what triggers your
anger, which people, situations or events make you furious and livid?
You need to understand that you have triggers and then you must Observe,
Analyze, and Change.
As
you begin to observe, this is the first step in determining the roots
of your anger. You must take notice of what situations and incidents
cause you to lose all control. What actions are you doing when your
anger begins? What are the people around you doing and what kind of
environment are you in. When you get angry, how high is your stress
level, and did you sleep well the night before. You need to be able to
distinguish certain features that might provide some insight into a
pattern of anger that you might fall into once in a while. Once you
determine your pattern, you are now aware and you can stop yourself when
you find yourself falling into your pattern. When some component of
your pattern occurs, quickly remind yourself not to fall prey to it.
Next,
analyze exactly what is triggering your anger. Anger is not always
irrational, because sometimes there is a very good reason, but more
often than not people's emotions get so wildly out of control, they
don't stop to decipher the actual problem. Stop and think, what is
making you so angry? Is it a foul mood that is transferring to anger? Is
it hurt? Or helplessness? What is happening around you that is
causing you to get angry and that is the best way you can deal with it.
You have to understand what mood you are in and to see what the actual
sane and rational reason is that is causing you to react.
Finally,
you need to figure out how to change these patterns and reactions. If
you see yourself about to get angry, take a deep cleansing breath three
times. If a person is your trigger and you feel yourself about to
explode, calmly tell that person to leave or excuse yourself so that you
do not lose your control or cool. You have to take these steps and at
first it will feel like you are repressing yourself, but actually you
are simply changing your pattern of response. How you choose to respond
is up to you, and choosing a healthy way will keep you healthier and
happier.
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